


i'm doomed if he's hansel

by Piriluk (orphan_account)



Category: Vocaloid
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Eventual Romance, F/F, F/M, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, MAKE A GUESS WITH WHAT THE OTHER TAGS ARE, Multi, Romance, Sexual Humor, probably, sin - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-18
Updated: 2016-03-18
Packaged: 2018-05-27 11:51:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6283408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Piriluk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rin Kagamine was cool, calm and collected. She was not a stalker. Nope, nope. Not a crazy stalker. Not obsessed with her brother or anything. She just needed answers. That’s all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i'm doomed if he's hansel

**Author's Note:**

> i have given up just take this as my sacrifice

" _Well, the years start coming,_

_And they don't stop coming, and they don't stop coming, and they don't stop coming, and they don't stop coming, and they don't stop coming, and they don't stop coming, and they don't stop coming, and they don't stop coming, and they don't stop coming, and they don't stop coming, and they don't stop coming, and they don't stop coming, and they don't stop coming, and they don't stop coming, and they don't stop coming, and they don't stop coming, and they don't stop coming, and they don't stop coming, and they don't stop coming, and they don't stop coming, and they don't stop coming, and they don't stop coming, and they don't stop coming, and they don't stop coming, and they don't stop coming, and they don't stop coming, and they don't stop coming, and they don't stop coming, and they don't stop coming, and they don't stop coming, and they don't stop coming, and they don't stop coming, and they don't stop coming, and they don't stop coming, and they don't stop coming, and they don't stop coming, and they don't stop coming, and they don't stop coming, and they don't stop coming, and they don't stop coming, and they don't stop coming, and they don't stop coming, and they don't stop coming, and they don't stop coming, and they don't stop coming, and they don't stop coming, and they don't stop coming, and they don't stop coming, and they don't stop coming, and they don't stop coming, and they don't stop coming, and they don't stop coming, and they don't stop coming, and they don't stop coming, and they don't stop coming, and they don't stop coming, and they don't stop coming…"_

.

.

.

Life. It's ever-changing.

Some lucky people out there would be so happy with what they already had, they would fight against these changes. Others, who were bored with their life, would look forward to it. The remainder - the ones who didn't fit into either category - could care less about the challenges and twists life threw their way.

Rin was one of the latter, of course (this was a lie). She'd grown far too immune to the lemons that would show up at any given point to squeeze juice into open wounds (this, also a lie), would hardly bat an eyelid or shed any tears over spilt milk (another lie). She was rather apathetic to life, just allowing it to take her wherever the hell it wanted to (maybe, not really - _sometimes_ ).

Today, of course, was one of those supposedly important 'life events' where change was supposed to take place.

Ho hum.

" _God_ , not a _nother_ welcome ceremony," the teal-haired girl complained, trailing after Rin as they filed into the college's common room.

She narrowed her eyes at a row of six girls sitting at the front of the room, wearing matching clothes and aviator sunglasses. Their still positions and stoic expressions made her feel almost… unsettled. _What the hell_ , was all she thought.

"I think we're getting our fresher names," another girl nearby mentioned.

"Fresher names?" the tealette muttered. She glanced at Rin. "Is that why they call our floor head 'Salmon'?"

She shrugged. "Beats me."

They sat down, and soon, the room fell into silence. One of the girls sitting at the front stood, folding her arms over her chest.

"Okay, freshers," she began in a firm voice. "It's time to finally become a true Vocaloid."

* * *

"Rin Kagamine," 'Madam December' called.

Oh, great. _Here_ we go.

Rin stumbled forward, stopping before the redhead. She gave her a smug smile, handing her a lanyard.

"From now on, you'll be known as… Fresher Gretel."

.

( **i'm doomed if he's hansel** )

* * *

A day later, Rin was ready to succumb to death's sweet kiss.

"Fresher Onions!" one of the Madams screeched across the room. "Get more sass in that ass! You want to make those goddamned Vocaloid boys _cry!_ "

The teal-haired girl, who was really called Miku, let out a high-pitched moan. "Why? Why me?" she muttered under her breath. Rin snickered. "Don't you laugh at me, god damn you. My thighs are _killing_ me. I can't believe we have to dance in _public_ like this."

Just as she was saying that, the entire room of freshers slapped their butts in unison. What a holy, holy sound.

"Let alone _guys_ ," Miku continued breathily. " _Hot_ guys."

Rin rolled her eyes. "Don't remind me."

Never in her life would she, a typical, androphobic introvert, imagine to have to slap her ass and dance erotically in front of a crowd of males.

To be more specific: _a crowd of males_ that might or might not contain her twin brother, whom she had not seen for roughly four years.

Ah. What an _enticing_ reminder.

"You've gone pale all of a sudden," Miku noted over her shoulder.

Habitually, Rin deadpanned, "Isn't that racist."

The tealette blinked, frowning. "Good question." She then turned away, becoming absorbed in the next moves in the dance.

Meanwhile, Rin was starting to believe that this 'change' was a grave mistake. _What do I do now_ , she could only muse impassively. Truthfully, some malicious part of her wanted to give Len a heart attack.

.

"Surprise bitch, I'm back."

She'd rehearsed many 'oh look we _coincidentally_ went to the _same college_ and now you _have to_ talk to me again' opening lines for when she and Len's paths would meet over the weeks leading up to this event. Yes, she'd secretly intended for this to happen - but no one would know. No one.

For four years out of her sad, short life, she dedicated to one small thing: figuring out what kind of stick was shoved up her twin brother's ass.

Frankly, who could blame her? One day, he went all stranger on her and asked to move in with Dad, disappearing out of Rin's life like he was never really there in the first place.

Yeah, that's right - no emails, no phone calls, not even a _text_. What'd she do? What horrible thing had she done to suddenly just _not exist_ in his life?

It stumped her. They'd always been so close, up until they were about 13. Then Len turned super weird, avoiding her like the plague - up until he somehow persuaded Mum to let him move out and live with Dad in an entirely different city, and that was that. She hadn't heard from him since.

But Rin was good at things.

What things? Er, stalking, for one. She'd stalked his Facebook all through high school, trying to figure out what university he was attending, and vice versa. God forbid she'd try and ask him - he wouldn't respond to _any_ kind of contact with him, and no one 'had' his number (or, more so, refused to _give_ his number) - for instance, she'd tried calling Dad, but whenever she asked to talk with Len, she'd get some poor excuse like, "He's out," or, "He's studying," or, "He has explosive diarrhoea."

She just didn't _get it_.

But, you know. This was her chance - her chance to make amends. Whatever grudge he held against her, she would figure it out, and she would _make the fuck up_ with him, and things would be back to normal.

You'll see. She just had to… work on her godawful people skills and blow his mind with how great she'd become during the time of his absence (or more so, how much of a wreck she'd become).

It just had to be a, "Oh wow, Len, I didn't know you went here!" sort of thing, otherwise if he found out she'd tracked him to university _and_ college, then he'd certainly never speak to her ever again.

Rin Kagamine was cool, calm and collected. She was not a stalker. Nope, nope. Not a crazy stalker. Not obsessed with her brother or anything. She just needed _answers_. That's all.

* * *

"We heard from a little song bird that you have a brother staying at Vocaloid Boy's College. The fairytale character Gretel _also_ has a brother. Gretel, Fresher Gretel."

**Author's Note:**

> if you guys dont know whats happening its ok neither do i. its terrible i wrote it in one sitting at 12am one night and i refuse to look at it again for any mistakes
> 
> whether this will be ever updated or anything is a question not even i can answer. so good luck. send me h9 mail plz
> 
> also clarifying things according to reviews from ffn on this story -  
> Rin/Miku/Len are attending UNIVERSITY for education. a "college" in this au is NOT college-where-i-learn college. im doing it according to how australia works, which is cONFUSING AF I KNOW, but basically theyre living in a dormitory on the uni campus, which is called a college - and the college is split into a boys college and a girls college bc the world is terribly sexist an d there is NO JUSTICe  
> fresher is basically slang/nickname for freshman.  
> 'Fresher [insert name here]' - tradition of giving people unique *kind of personified but probably just hilarious and useless* nicknames in college/uni campus life. not All colleges do it and a lot of them get rid of the fresher names after o-week/orientation week.  
> ummmmm did i forget anything. lol. w/e. i might just try to explain this in the second chapter anyway.
> 
> (i dont own the lyrics to that song from shrek, or the meme, or anything)


End file.
